Love, Distance, And Decisions
by ameristar
Summary: Unbeknownst to Cat, Sam and Carly still keep in touch. Something happens, and a long distance relationship between the two becomes all the more real. Sam suddenly has to make a decision. Will it be the right one?


Author's Note: A prompt from tumblr. Thanks to Puckentine-fanfics' anon for giving me the idea! Please review, and enjoy! :)

Sam didn't like to get her feelings tangled up. She'd done it plenty of times in the past, and it was much like a snapped cable; it flew back and hit everyone on the other end. As guarded as she was, she gave love easily to those she trusted-literally anyone she trusted. It started with Carly, and ended with Cat. Those feelings didn't die when she moved from Seattle. So unbeknownst to Cat, Sam kept the relationship with Carly alive.

It felt much like a secret addiction. She would make phone calls only when Cat was at school, send text messages and skype conversations only when Cat wasn't in the room to notice, and even once had to run to the bathroom midway conversation to answer a call from an international number. As you can imagine the guilt ran her down. She wasn't sleeping the normal 14 hours a day she was used to, only ate half a box of cereal every morning, and to top it all off, was actually nicer to Dice. It was beginning to become a noticeable problem. Then came a phone call she didn't want.

"Carly?" Sam answered her phone in the backyard. It was three am, and she was half awake and barefoot.

"Sam?" Carly replied, voice tinny and slightly emotional. Sam immediately picked it up, her stomach muscles tightening in anxiousness. "My-fa-di-" The static broke up the conversation, prompting Sam to shake her pear phone instinctively.

"I'm sorry, Carly, what? You're breaking up." Sam shouted into the phone. On the other end she could hear the phone rattle-Carly was shaking it too-she could hear her mumble 'stupid phone' over the static.

"Yeah, I'm using one of those stupid international payphones, Sam. My father died." Sam heard Carly sniff back tears before coughing. Sam felt her knees weaken. She blinked a single tear that ran down in a hot streak off her cheek before she could stop it.

"I'm sorry, Carly." She croaked. She heard the other girl sigh over the phone. Sam saw Cat looking out the sliding door from the corner of her eye, her face full of concern.

"Listen, I'm running out of time. I'm going to come back to the states. Spencer said I can move back in with him until I can get everything settled. I'll call you tomorrow before I get on the plane. The funeral will be in a week after they send his body home. I hope you can make it." Carly said weakly, the words coming out in a ramble that sounded nearly robotic and rehearsed. Sam swallowed the knot in her throat.

"I won't miss it." Sam said. She looked up at Cat, who merely stared back at her silently. She knew it was bad news, she could tell from the smaller girl's expression. But there was more to it than that, and Sam knew she had some explaining to do over the next week.  
-

"So this has been going on awhile?" Cat said the next day, as she delicately placed strawberry after strawberry in the blender, making one of her signature shakes inventions. This time chocolate cake and strawberry.

"Yeah. She and I have been... talking." Sam replied hesitantly. She and Cat had never bothered to define the status of their relationship, but it was becoming ever present that they were more than just platonic friends. Life had a tendency of repeating itself in different situations, and platonic friendships didn't seem to be Sam's forte.

"Oh." Cat said, turning on the blender full blast. Sam cringed at the loud whirring noise filling the room, and watched as Cat's face remained devoid of facial expression. She knew better than to think this conversation was over, however. "What do you talk about?" Cat asked, before pouring the blended smoothie into a glass.

"Well..." Sam drawled, stalling for time. How did she explain the days she spent talking to Carly about their past, about what she wished she had done with her, about how she made her feel so significant? How would she explain the more risqué conversations; talking about how she craved to touch Carly, about what she was doing when she touched herself? The words were unsaid, but they hung in the air between them. Cat knew more than she let on, but still, saying it was different than implying it. "Can I pass on that?" Sam winced at Cat's intense glare from behind her chocolate shake and strawberry filled glass.

Cat slammed the glass on the counter and walked briskly toward their shared bedroom, slamming it shut with a loud bang. Sam just hung her head. This was more complicated than she ever imagined it could be. And she imagined it would be pretty fucking shitty.  
-

Cat insisted on coming to the funeral. She said it was for support, and Sam believed her, but she also knew the other reason she went. She wanted to scope out the competition. Seattle wasn't right down the street from California, and Sam was sure Cat was aware of that, but it wasn't across the country either. Carly would undoubtably want to visit. She would be in the same time zone, able to call and text freely, and seeing her would just take a day's drive. The idea of a third wheel in their romantic friendship came as a chilling reality to Cat. She just had to see who she was up against.

The plane ride was awkward at best, and when Carly arrived with Spencer to pick them up in baggage claim, Cat watched with weary eyes as Sam fiercely hugged the other girl, and her brother.

"Hi, Cat." Carly offered politely. Cat knew she would be civil to her; Sam had warned her of as much. Cat hesitated before shaking the other girl's hand. Spencer watched this exchange and raised his eyebrows quietly at Sam who merely shook her head and mouthed 'Later'.

"I'm sorry about your Dad." Cat said meekly, realizing that the events weren't just about Sam, but also about basic respect. She of course felt guilty about the relief she felt when she knew this weekend wasn't going to be about Sam and Carly's reunion as much as it would be about Carly's father.

Sam felt torn between two worlds when they got to the apartment. Freddie still lived with his mother across the hall, and met them when they arrived. Cat was offered an inflatable mattress to sleep on, an improvement on Sam's old sleeping grounds: the couch. It was then, as Carly assumed that Sam would sleep in her bed with her upstairs that Sam felt the first real tug of the mess she was in. Carly walked up the stairs unassumingly, but Sam stayed back, not going up with her. After a moment she realized she wasn't walking behind her, and her long black hair swayed as she turned to silently look back at Sam.  
Sam felt four pairs of eyes on her. She stood at the bottom of the stairs completely frozen, unsure what to do and what it would mean for her to follow or stay. Freddie and Spencer stopped to look at each other.

"See ya!" Freddie yelped before leaving as fast as he could. Spencer's eyes widened before he hurriedly rushed to his room. Neither of them wanted to witness this blow out.

"Go ahead, Sam." Cat chimed in, her eyes beginning to water. "I'll be fine." Sam turned to look at the red head, then back at Carly, who stood there silently. Sam closed her eyes and sighed.

"Carly..." She started, but the girl had bounded up the stairs without a word. Cat bit her lip in an effort not to smile. Sam looked at her, face lit up with unspoken anger, and walked to the couch.

The funeral was like all funerals were-painful-and Cat did her best to be as respectful to the mourners as possible. It was a beautiful ceremony; the casket was draped in full military honors, and Cat was in awe at the beauty of the tradition and formality of the military service. She tried not to be too envious when she saw Carly reach for Sam's hand as they buried the casket. Carly was reaching for comfort the only place she knew, and Cat understood that, despite the way her heart seized in her chest when it happened.

As they walked back and hugged and said their goodbyes, Cat respectfully walked to the limousine with Spencer as Carly and Sam stood away from them, hugging and crying as Carly said her last goodbyes.

"Carly has been friends with Sam for a long time." Spencer said quietly, before they got into the vehicle. The wind picked up, blowing a long strand of red hair in Cat's face, which she brushed back nervously as she thought of a response.

"I know. She was very lucky." Cat said finally. Spencer nodded, looking over to the girls, who seemed to be in their own world.

"Cat, you might not know this, but a lot of people tend to think I'm too silly and goofy to pick up on things." Spencer said, his voice gentle and mature. Cat looked up at him, listening.

"They think that about me too." She said in reply.

"Good. Then you understand when I say that I know how you look at Sam; I know you love her as much as Carly." Spencer said.

"I do." Cat said truthfully. Spencer nodded.

"Then don't push her." He continued. "Let her make this decision on her own. It's the only way she'll ever know for sure." Cat looked at the two girls as they began to walk slowly back to the car. Cat turned and followed Spencer into the back of the waiting town car.

"Carly, none of this is easy. I hate that it had to be your Dad that brought you back here." Sam said to Carly. Spencer and Cat were in the car, but Sam stopped Carly with a hand just before she opened the door.

"Look, Sam. I know I spent too many years without telling you what I really felt. I made a big mistake and it's selfish of me to expect you to wait. Whatever you decide, Sam, I want you to know we're still friends. That much won't change." Carly replied, her eyes not quite meeting Sam's. Before the blonde girl could reply, Carly opened the door and climbed inside. Sam stood there for a moment, felt the Seattle breeze blow across her face, and followed her in.  
-

The whole way back into the city, Sam said nothing, looked at neither girl and just stared out the window at the passing cars. Carly seemed preoccupied with a spot on the door handle and Cat felt alien in her own skin. Spencer merely sighed, crossing his long arms and sitting back, wishing everything was normal again, wishing he were anywhere but in the back of that limo.

When they walked into their loft was when Carly finally had enough.

"Sam, I'm sorry, but I can't take this anymore!" She shouted, whipping around to face a startled blonde.

"Calm down, Carly." Spencer sagely warned.

"No! I love you Sam, I do, and I'm sorry if it took me too long to tell you, but I'm telling you now. You have to choose. I can't-I can't wait any longer." Carly's eyes were wild and teary, and Cat felt herself begin to cry as well.

"Oh God." Sam whimpered as nightmare became real. Now was the time to make a choice. When she looked over to Cat, staring sadly at her with tears in her eyes, she knew that the red head was convinced she wouldn't be chosen. Cat rubbed at her eyes with such defeat, shoulders sagged and heavy with sadness and grief, that it nearly ripped Sam's heart in half. Carly watched this interaction with eyes that knew Sam better than she knew herself. She stood there stricken, her eyes wide with realization of just how much the blonde loved the small innocent girl standing in front of her.

Carly let go.

"Go to her, Sam." She said slowly. Sam whipped her head to look at her, confusion written on her face. "You love her. I know that look. It's the look you used to give to me." Carly said. Though her heart was heavy with grief, and her mascara was run down her face, the taller girl had come to accept it.

"I-I love you Cat. I'm so sorry I never told you before." Sam admitted. Cat looked at her for a moment, then ran into her arms.

Sam knew that love wasn't the easiest choice, and she'd always felt it against her will. Love made you weak, but on the other hand, it made you strong. Cat felt a deep sense of gratitude for Carly letting Sam go. She knew the decision to step back was harder for her than she could ever imagine, especially after her own father had passed away. But that was the nature of love. It's a constantly changing and evolving thing, and for Sam it was hard to give reign over her life and decisions. When the two girls returned from Seattle, they walked into their shared condominium with the sense that things would be completely different.

Sam decided she would take a risk. When they walked over the threshold, she grabbed Cat and kissed her with all the passion she could muster. Cat dropped her luggage onto the living room floor and wrapped her arms around Sam as tight as she could. Sam held the smaller girl's face in her hands as they kissed, tongues tangling in each other's mouths with the fierce conviction of love. Soon, Sam lead Cat to the couch, where she laid the other girl down gently as if she were made of glass.

"I want to-" Sam started, but the smaller girl didn't let her finish.

"Yes. Please, yes." Cat cried, her hands pulling at the bottom of the blonde's plaid button up blouse. With an almost super human speed Sam unbuttoned the shirt and flung it over the tv. Cat reached back behind her to unzip her black dress, kicking off her pumps and giggling as they thudded against the wall in front of her. Sam couldn't fight the smile off her face as she unbuttoned and yanked off her pants. Soon they were both stark naked and taking in each other in the light of that Sunday morning that shone into the house through open windows.

"Should we close them?" Cat whispered. Sam grabbed the girl by the shoulders, standing her up and wetly kissing her neck.

"Let em watch." She said. Soon she let those kisses travel downward, as Cat's knees soon turned to jello. Sam caught her of course, laying her back on the couch and headed right for the prize. With an experienced tongue, she tasted the apex of Cat's thighs with long and lingering licks. Cat laid her head back lazily as she felt the love the other girl had for her expressed through her quickly darting tongue. Sam relished the taste of her, wrapping the girl's tan, slender legs around her shoulders as she ate the girl out.

"Oh God!" Cat groaned as she quickly climaxed. She started to reach out for Sam, who stopped her.

"No. This is for you. This is all for you." Sam whispered into her thigh, kissing her gently over her mound with such tenderness and love that Cat felt she wasn't really there, and that she wasn't really this lucky to have her.

"I love you, Cat." Sam said as she looked up at her, Cat looked into Sam's crystal blue eyes and knew in that moment that she would never let her go.


End file.
